A Good Life: Adding the Final Touches

A Good Life: Adding The Finishing Touches

by Lynne Wisman
Sunday June 24, 2010--SOURCE:The Globe Gazette (Mason City, IA)

To my dearly beloved children:
In your eyes and heart I am a very special person because I am your Mother. I'm grateful for that! I feel the same about you. You are special and I have invested much in you, including all of my love. It was a wonderful journey composed of good and bad calls and lack of sleep. It was worth everything we put into it.

Now it's a different journey. This journey is for your father and me. We've spent a lifetime taking care of other people. The rest of our lives will be labeled, "Ours."

Let me explain why I'm telling you this:
We want you to understand why we sometimes say no.

No, we don't want to do that this weekend. No, we're not coming over. No, we're not going to "Grab a plane." No we're not going to take care of the grandchildren. No, we're not going to babysit your dogs. No, we don't want to go on a cruise. No, no, no."

Don't mistake the word "no" for "They don't love me." We do love you. You truly will never know how much. But here's the thing: You are too young to recognize the sound of a ticking clock. We recognized it long ago.

An alarm goes off one morning and it's a wake up call. The message is straightforward: Time is evaporating faster than an out-of-control train, and it's taking us with it.

Parents sacrifice everything to raise their children. You know that, for you have children of your own.

We not only raised you but some of your friends as well. We took care of pets, helped our parents, did volunteer work when it was necessary and a thousand other things required to keep a family well-balanced.

It was the most worthwhile job we've ever had in spite of living in a human zoo. We loved it even when the power bill was out of sight because curling irons were on 24/7, and when we lost our hearing because your digitals were torqued to the max.

We loved it through trikes and bikes, boyfriends, girlfriends, proms, thousands of sporting events in the rain, and a complete depletion of financial resources.

They were such good years and today we have beautiful young adults that we are proud to present to the world. Society wants and needs young adults that will make a difference. Society not only got what was needed, we gave it to them in spades.

That was then: It was yesterday, last week, last decade, last time. It was our final contribution.

Today society can stuff it. And you, my darling children will eventually understand the evolution of attitude in relation to time: What is left is for us. We earned it, it's ours, and we're going to take it.

Life is short and there are no guarantees. With evaporation of time comes a do-it-now urgency.

This doesn't mean we are trading you for something else. What we are doing is taking time for all of the things we never had time for until now. Your father and I are putting the finishing touches on a good life.

I know it's surprising, but we've finally grown backbones and learned how to say, "No."

We don't want to hurt your feelings, but for us it's very much about the value of the days that are left.

We know that you love us enough that you will forgive us when you find we are set in our ways and stubborn beyond belief. It comes with the growth of backbones.

One day you will look upon this time and realize ours was a surgical division from past responsibilities, not a psychological division from you.

Loving you is the greatest of joys.

Looking forward to the rest of our lives with a freedom we've never experienced is a gift we owe to ourselves!

One day, you too will receive this gift. Use it as we intend to use ours, to celebrate the past and to step into the future.

We will always love you. You are the greatest gift of all!
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