funny-some old some new, but cute

In a message dated 11/13/2005 12:18:25 AM Central Standard Time, I recieved this from an email friend and buddy.  You will have to scroll down to read it all, but it  is funny and worth reading, honest.  Or at least I thought it was.   Love always, Merry

Been around, but still funny.

  Hmm
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>> If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
>> enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
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>> (Hardly seems worth it.)
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>> If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
>> produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
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>> (Now that's more like it!)
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>> The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
>> to
>> squirt blood 30 feet.
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>> (O.M.G.!)
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>> A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
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>> (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
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>> A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
>> death.
>> (Creepy.)
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>> (I'm still not over the pig.)
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>> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
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>> (Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
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>> The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
>> its
>> body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
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>> ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
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>> The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
>> jumping the
>> length of a football field.
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>> (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
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>> The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
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>> (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )
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>> Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
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>> (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
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>> Butterflies taste with their feet.
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>> (Something I always wanted to know.)
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>> The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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>> (Hmmmmmm......)
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>> Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
>> left-handed
>> people.
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>> (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
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>> Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
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>> (okay, so that would be a good thing)
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>> A cat's urine glows under a black light.
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>> (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
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>> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
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>> ( I know some people like that.)
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>> Starfish have no brains

 (I know some people like that too.)
 Polar bears are left-handed.



>> (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)




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>> Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
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>> (What about that pig??)